Traveling Adventures of a Trans Couple
An up and down day
First, a little background. My partner and I are trans women, let’s say ‘mature’ in our years. We can mostly rise above the mis-genders, sideways glances, up and down head-bobs, but it piles up to where you just want to scream. So any little shake in confidence can be either a little annoying or it can be devastating.
We are embarking on a great adventure, buying a motor coach, and heading out across the country seeking fun and warm weather. So far we have purchased the coach and are camping on a lake in Wisconsin. We are surrounded by her family, sisters, brothers, kids, grand-kids, cousins and more.
It’s been lovely.
The money situation for me has been… stressful, excruciatingly so, a major cause of anguish to me and my family. I’m trying to sell the family compound and it is not going well, a huge drain on our retirement plan. We have had some realtors quit, others do nothing. We lowered the price over $100,000 during one of the hottest real estate markets and got nothing. We got the agent situation corrected, but not before the market cooled. It is a unique property, two homes on one lot. There is a swimming pool, which further shrinks the buyer pool. It needs a multi-family group or an investor looking to rent one of the homes.
The other problem is the reaction of my children; sometimes loving, sometimes accusational, sometimes hostile. Depending on the day, it’s me “running off” or sometimes “pursuing my dreams”. Either way it’s a huge change to my life and their lives, and change is a difficult emotional thing.
When I got up yesterday, it was one of those days. My mind was full of dread, worried about money, family relations, whether I’m doing the right thing. I was in a foul mood, itching for a fight, not caring about who or what might get hurt.
I just sat in the dark…curtains drawn thinking, fuming, trying to find some sort of center. Some peace in my raging brain.
And then my partner came in, I had silently shooed her away earlier. Just been grumpy, so she sat outside not willing to “poke the bear” as they say.
She said, “How are you doin’?” I replied “meh.” She said, “I love you. The others want to go out on the pontoon boat at 1:30. Do you want to come?”
I looked at her and thought, ‘fuck no… just leave me alone.’
She smiled, gently. “I thought maybe something to do will shake this funk.”
I mumbled, “okay.”
The others are two of her sisters, a brother in-law, her and me, five altogether. So we got ready, changed into bathing suits, filled coolers with beer, ice and some snacks (a couple of pot gummies). Added hats, towels, bug spray, sunblock phones to a beach bag and set off.
There is something about being on the water that calms you. The steady rhythm of the motor and the sway of the boat hitting the soft waves of the lake. We sat, talked, laughed, teased and cared about each other. Eventually we got to a little sandy area of the lake, hardly a beach, but it didn’t matter. We explored a little, floated a little, laughed a lot.
Most importantly we smiled. Headed back late in the afternoon, collectively content. Once back sat around the campfire, all contributing to a nice meal, marveling at our enchanted lives. With the help of my loving, beautiful, wonderful partner and her family… I was centered again.
